Archives for category: Ramblings

Probably not, but I am going to write something anyways. I’ve been doing some of the Gymnastic Strength stuff each week. Not as much as I’d like, but I always have high expectations. Gotta grab some health insurance this next month or 2 so I bet I’ll have something to write about my experience with that.

In the mean time, here are some random things I have learned recently:

  • Hold a Stretch for at least 2 minutes.
  • Check out Sleep Cycles by Neat Beats
  • Confronting people in person, briefly, about dropping out of text conversations gets them to start responding.
  • It doesn’t feel like much to pace for 2.5 miles in your own home.
  • Living near Ducks is very satisfying.

When I get really Depressed I have a tactic that almost always works. I sit down and start making a list that will define the morning of my day. It is a morning routine that I plan in minute detail. It works even better when there is a nighttime routine also.

Last time I made it I had 28 steps to follow on a sheet of paper I kept next to my bed. I followed every step without thought during the next 2 hours and by the end I was confident, accomplished valuable daily goals, and fed for work. After 4~5 days I felt okay again and stopped following the plan so I could spend more time with my Girlfriend at night. There have been times where I lived this way for months.

One of my big challenges is finding a way to do something like this while having a significant other. I value people over systems, but the system is perhaps the most important tool I have for fighting depression. Honestly, that is a topic that might take years to figure out. Right now I have something else in mind.

I’m not sad enough to follow my routine.

A weird idea, right? However, I find that I am happy enough right now that it isn’t this do or die importance pushing me to sit-up and drink water and start the routine. I wake up or go to bed whenever because things will be alright and nothing terrible is going to happen if I don’t. I’m not going to spend the day in bed, or miss too many meals, or lose my job cause I didn’t follow the routine. If I were depressed and struggling, then I’d also be forcing myself to hold onto the routine by my finger-tips just to keep my lifestyle afloat until calmer times.

I need a way to connect those darker times to why I follow a routine whenever I have the chance to follow one. If I could just make the routine my Default way of living through the first 2 hours of my day. I bet I could also cut down on the time depression steals from me.

I was listening to a podcast interview of Seth Godin by Tim Ferriss and they were talking about how to write well. Seth mentioned starting and regularly writing in a blog. He clearly meant writing a blog to say things about the world and how things will turn out, but I’m not ready to do that yet. It did make me want to write more often. Write more terrible stuff. So eventually I will write something good.

Paragraphs and Poems

Laying in my bed I was thinking about the first time I learned how to write a paragraph. Really the beginning of my learning to write anything that wasn’t just practice of how to write a letter or learn grammar.

A paragraph begins with a statement of it’s purpose. After that you write about supporting ideas, which I think of as premises, that make that statement a reality. Finally, the paragraph wraps up what it said in some sort of synthesis, and has to be three sentences long.

I really enjoyed sitting and thinking about the first time I learned about paragraphs. I have no idea where I was other than guessing by the school I went to etc. etc.. However, I can almost hear the voice of the woman explaining it to me. I wonder how many times people think about these sorts of things? Do published authors think back to when they learned the structure of a paragraph, or the first time they were required to think up their own 5-paragraph essay?

I think about whether there is anything more complex, in prose, other than the paragraph. Essays work in a similar structure. Research Papers have the same Thesis, Premises/Evidence, and Synthesis. Poems are entirely different. Fiction even does a similar activity with foreshadowing and other devices. I’ve written poetry. I’ve attempted to finish many research papers on-time. I kept excellent journals. Almost the only thing I’ve written in most categories, besides things you could actually make money from, and I often feel like you are always writing a Paragraph or a Poem.

Well, things have changed, but not much internally. I still don’t have direction, despite looking for it. I stopped writing here, and that is a shame. So, for now, I’ll just write my thoughts and not try too hard to write well as long as I post more often.

There is one thing I have been keeping up with. I am still studying Japanese using the Fluent Forever system. I am enjoying myself and am finally moving from the Pronunciation Trainer stage to the Vocabulary stage. Kanji is hard, but much more fun than English letters and words.

I fell out of both my practice of meditation and my workout routine, and really almost every routine I had. Despite that my Glucose levels have been in-range for longer than any point in the past 10-15 years.

I’m writing this post to get started and also because I am a little worried that I might be going into another cycle of depression soon. Hopefully writing will help me stay out of it and remind me of things I am getting done. I mean, before I wrote this post I had forgotten how well I am doing with Japanese and Glucose Averages, so it seems to be working.

I hope everyone who reads this is having a good Holiday Season 🙂

Websites:

https://fluent-forever.com/

So, this is the stuff I am into at the moment:

1. At the advice of Ramose Daskalodos I am going to try and restart any habit that has fallen apart on the New Moon. Hopefully getting some umph from the timing, and reducing my down time from 1 month to 3 years down to 2 weeks.

2. Those habits are going to be a certain meditation, proper timing of my Longterm insulin, Cleaning my sink every night, using my Lumosity subscription each day, Studying for an hour each day, and balancing my “check book” each friday.

3. http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/ has caught my interest after Tim Ferriss linked to an article about the guy on Facebook. I like his ideas and have considered adopting a similar plan once I get more of a job going.

4. I’m going to get a Christmas job. Start interviews on Monday, hopefully the first one is a success and I can just prepare for that job.

5.  Listening to Caribou on repeat. http://youtu.be/vNOdF4zh9Kg

6.  I’m recalling 6 dreams a morning, soon to be lucid ones. Been closer every night.

I’ve been doing alot. Beating depression that was supposed to have died years ago, working hard for better grades in college, learning to utilize my dreams for various purposes, and maintaining some old friendships. I have not been working out or writing on here, though. Hopefully that will change soon. We’ll see.

I have been in college for a while now and have been studying psychology the whole time. I have never been a partyer, preferring to read a book about how alcohol is made than consuming cheap, terrible alcohol. However, over time I have grown to appreciate things like a finely crafted liqueur or beer, smoking a tobacco pipe, or using caffeine. After two negative experiences with alcohol and a college psychology course on Substance Abuse, I began really thinking about how we use perception and mind-altering substances in America.

So I decided on a set of rules based on my knowledge of the addiction process and psychology. It is a short list of questions I ask myself if I am thinking of having coffee, a pipe, or a drink.

The Questions:
Am I sad?
Am I lonely?
Am I angry?
Am I stressed out?
Am I overwhelmed?
Have I exercised today or am sore?
Is my blood glucose above 140?

If I say “Yes” to any of these, then I don’t have the smoke or the drink or the caffeine. If I did, I would not be doing it for fun or an experience. I would be doing it to self-medicate instead of solve my problem.

This sounds all pretty and easy for a guy who doesn’t have much interest in partying or drugs of any sort right? Well, that is ignorant. I have been under MASSIVE amounts of stress from legal, social, interpersonal, physical, and emotional sources. This list of questions has likely saved me from picking up an addiction more times than I could possibly count. No one WANTS to have a smoking habit, but they usually don’t have the training to come up with a cognitive tool or don’t have expressed priorities in order to stop themselves. They see a cigarette and think of stress-relief because of their culture. If they stopped for just 2 minutes to recognize it as a dangerous gamble with a whole world of negative experiences, they would probably never try it, or never in a time where they have a predisposition towards an addiction.

This is really important because it is so much easier to use than abstinence from these tempting options. There are certain things you should never do, like heroin or pre-rolled cigarettes, but there are more things that are interesting and relatively harmless. The problem isn’t that people have too little willpower to resist an addiction. In my mind the problem is that we never give people the tools to resist a poor decision regarding potentially addictive substances and instead make good decisions regarding them.