Archives for the month of: December, 2015

I like to write poetry. I don’t like sharing it though, unless it is about a person, and then I share it with them. However, I write so much poetry that if I thought deeply about how to name them it would take longer than the writing. So I tend to name things after food I am eating, or ate recently, or particularly enjoyed that day. Soon enough I had “Bowl of Rice” #1-13 and realized I should probably get sillier with the naming so I could expand it. That’s why this is titled “Crunchy Salt.” If you’ve never had flaked sea salt, then you should try some on rice. It is nice.

Yesterday was pretty nice. Should I talk about yesterday? Maybe I should just write this as if, instead of dreaming, I wrote a blog post while my body was sleeping. I’ll stick to Yesterday and try out other things in the future.

Yesterday was pretty nice. I woke up hungover after going drinking with my girlfriend. I don’t get hungover much, so that was kinda a weird experience. I didn’t even drink heavily, which made it extra odd. I also woke up pretty late. 12 noon late. That kinda messed with my head a bit, and I don’t want to know what it did to the rest of my body.

Once I got moving around and dressed and smelling alright, we headed to a greek diner in town that serves all-day breakfast. The greek salad there was not good, and reminded me why I mostly get breakfast there. The Gyro and Feta omelet was excellent though. On-wards to sign her new lease, and then home to find my new clickers and book on operant conditioning in the mail.

She kept mentioning to me that I looked sad. I think it is probably just waking up late and the lack of much routine for the day, but I didn’t think of that till later. I took note of it though and just paid attention through the night to see how I felt and why.

So far this sounds like a boring day, right? What’s so nice about a day where you wake up so late it makes you a little sad? Going to the river.

My girlfriend works 2 jobs and in a tourist town that means this week is out of control. This was her first day off after four 14-hour days in a row. So I just wanted to hang out with her in a state other than post-work-zombie. She had some things to do, one of which was go hang out at a park.

We made it to the river about half an hour before sunset. It was nice sitting there with our feet in the cool water, watching birds be birds, and two black cloud-like dogs the size of baby bears play in the park like miniature thunderstorms practicing for the day they grew up. After a little bit I realized I should be whittling and grab my swiss army knife and a few branches. I don’t think I have whittled in over a year. It was fulfilling in a deep way, and I made 2 different pointy things. Pointy sticks being the most fun and thought-free thing to whittle. AS the sun set and the mosquitoes came out I insisted that we go for a walk. (My girlfriend is naturally immune to most of the world’s biting insect. I am not.)

A nice long walk on country roads in the warm night air of Florida. Just what I needed. Flirting and running around and making jokes about alien abductions. Watching as cars appeared and then took 10s of minutes to ever make it to where we were. Stopping to smell the nature on the air.

It was pretty nice.

NOTE: Should have posted this a few days ago! Now I remember how news articles refer to the day of the week, instead of “yesterday” so much.

I can’t tell if I am depressed if I wake up at noon, because waking up that late makes me grumpy. If I get up earlier than noon, then I will be less depressed if that was the reason. I like this, cause it points out that from both the likely directions my waking up late comes from, either one will improve by waking up earlier. When my job starts, I’ll have an easier time waking up earlier, I think.

Despite my mid-day breakfast, I got a good amount done once I was awake. Wrote down some dreams. Studied Japanese for 45 minutes. Drank about half a gallon of water by 4. Read 7 more of the Stoicism blogs posts on Ancient Wisdom Project. Caught up a little with my Cousin Warren.

As I write this, I am about to go to the coffee shop. I also realize it would be better to edit/publish these the next day. Cause the last entry completely missed me watching 2 unnerving movies until 4am. (Wrong Cops and Bronson)

At the coffee shop I met みなみ and Matt. I am pretty sure they were a couple. They were so friendly! I talked to them after giving them so many furtive glances that it was making Matt nervous. They had been chatting quietly in some asian language, but I was unable to tell if it was Japanese. I was fairly sure though, mostly because of how stylishly dressed みなみ was. I asked Matt and he told me and we chatted while their coffee was being made. He was an english teacher for kindergarten and elementary children, and she was a university administrator….I think? I could not clearly understand what she said, but after a few repeats, that is what I got. I was too shy to trade any contact information with them though, which I regret.

Thankfully today I did not wake up with a low glucose. So I didn’t wake up feeling like I was dying his time. It was nice.

I learned some more Japanese. Finally Pronounced Schuykill Sandwich correctly. Saw some of my good friends at the coffee shop.

I am going to start eating really boring meals in order to practice some stoicism. I got into a habit of making really great beans and meat bowls last year. However now I won’t eat the beans without that 1-2 hour process. So I am just going to have beans with salt, and maybe some bacon grease I have saved up from my last package of bacon. Once I finish my current loaf of bread and gallon of milk I will try doing a more strict idea of stoic meals.

I felt like making a bit of a journal. The reason I am posting it is mostly because I already keep a private journal, and honestly it does not mean much to me. I’ve always done it n one form or another. I just write to think, and think is almost the only thing I ever do. So this one may be more to share and someday people might discuss my thoughts with me.

Today I didn’t get much done. That didn’t bother me too much. What bothered me is waking up with a low glucose. Waking up with a low glucose feels very similar to waking up in the depths of depression, and you have many of the same thoughts. It took me a good 3 hours before realizing I needed to treat my Low, and after that the day picked up.

I read some of Hyperion by Dan Simmons. That is one of my favorite science fiction cantos, so that is nice. I wish I knew how may times I have read it. At least 3 times before now.

I went to the coffee shop I have haunted most of this year, but it was so busy and full of people that I felt like leaving once I had finished my drink and most of the Raspberry scone I got there.  I wonder if it is busy cause it is Saturday or because it is the Holidays?

Finally got the X-01 Power Armor in Fallout4. I had almost messed up the spot to get a full set. But thankfully after I hit level 28, the set spawned correctly and it only took me 3-4 tries to get it without dying. Now I feel like I can move on with the storyline and not think about armor ever again.

Looked into playing EVE Online again and finding out if I will enjoy it this time, having a better understanding of what it is about.

I started reading The Ancient Wisdom Project blog. I like it a great deal, and will likely try out some of the author’s ideas, if not do nearly a replica of his actions but from my own perspective. I’d be sad if he was against the idea, but from his writing it seems likely he would welcome another explorer.

NOTE: I forgot to post this yesterday….I actually ended up staying up till 6am and finishing the main storyline of Fallout 4 >_>
(Great game, maybe set a timer if you play it? Preferably a timer that switches off your power at the breakerbox so you stop haha.)

Well, things have changed, but not much internally. I still don’t have direction, despite looking for it. I stopped writing here, and that is a shame. So, for now, I’ll just write my thoughts and not try too hard to write well as long as I post more often.

There is one thing I have been keeping up with. I am still studying Japanese using the Fluent Forever system. I am enjoying myself and am finally moving from the Pronunciation Trainer stage to the Vocabulary stage. Kanji is hard, but much more fun than English letters and words.

I fell out of both my practice of meditation and my workout routine, and really almost every routine I had. Despite that my Glucose levels have been in-range for longer than any point in the past 10-15 years.

I’m writing this post to get started and also because I am a little worried that I might be going into another cycle of depression soon. Hopefully writing will help me stay out of it and remind me of things I am getting done. I mean, before I wrote this post I had forgotten how well I am doing with Japanese and Glucose Averages, so it seems to be working.

I hope everyone who reads this is having a good Holiday Season 🙂